IVF part 2: egg collection

I opted to work from home the morning of my egg collection. It proved a good distraction from egg collection, but a bad distraction from my ban on any food or drink before the procedure. I became pretty nervous in the half hour or so before I had to get in the car. I checked I had everything I needed, which was basically nothing, about five times.

My husband was there when I walked in the doors of the clinic. We sat on the couch and waited. I was too distracted to read any of the trashy magazines, or to even really talk.

We were called into our own small room. Two nurses came in. They asked all the usual questions, “are you allergic to anything?” “have you eaten anything today” “when did you last drink anything?” They explained the procedure in brief. An embryologist joined the conversation. My gynaecologist joined the conversation. It felt like there were thirty people in a room meant for one. My poor husband slunk back from providing his “sample” to a room of chaos.

I was walked into theatre. Almost immediately I noticed a tiny little window with the embryologist sitting on the other side of it. It looked like a little coffee bar, or a service kitchen. I almost expected to see a little moustached barista with an apron pop out with a smile and an espresso. I think what really was going to happen was that my gynaecologist would pass fluid containing eggs through the window so that they could examine the eggs immediately.

I sat down on the theatre bed and was promptly hooked up to various machines. An IV drip. A blood pressure monitor. Something in my nose with some gas passing through it, probably to zap any fears away. Then the nurses passed my gynaecologist drugs and even before I had my legs in the delightful stirrups I felt myself going fairly floppy.

The procedure itself was pretty painful. With 26 follicles my gynaecologist had to make a number of incisions directly into the ovaries. I cringed and let out a little squeak with each one. I tried to focus on my breathing. Soon enough they were finished, and I was out of theatre just like that, back in my little room.

I was given some toast, and I suspect about then the effect of the drugs really kicked in. I can’t remember what was on the toast, but I do remember that I offered some to my husband. The next thing that I remember was my gynaecologist advising me that they had managed to retrieve 24 eggs. “Wow!” I exclaimed. I was so stoked. My husband laughed and said, “you do realise that is about the sixth time they’ve told you that?” I had no recollection whatsoever.

I was discharged fairly quickly. We had a prescription for some codeine and we drove around the building to the pharmacy on the other side. I waited in the car while my husband went inside. Pretty quickly things went really downhill. I realised that I was going to either throw up or pass out, or both. I shifted uncomfortably around in the car, put the seat back, but to no avail. My mind told me that I had to escape the car and lie down on the cold concrete of the car park. So out I flopped. I began sweating and my head was spinning. I frantically told myself not to spew, to breathe, to focus on lying still.

I don’t know how much time had passed. I heard my husband say my name in shock. He later said he felt like he had an out of body experience seeing me lying with my head on the curb amongst some dead leaves and cigarette butts. I heard a lady say, “is she alright?” and my husband replied, “yeah, she’s ok, she’s just nauseous.” Poor guy.  I refused to move for a while, until I was able to get myself into the car and stay as still as possible on the reclined seat. Off we drove.

At home I rushed myself to bed and basically conked out for the rest of the afternoon. Occasionally I would get enough will and hunger to have some food and drink, but mostly I just slept. Neither of us had expected it would be such an ordeal, or that I would basically spend the next five days in and out of bed with nausea and a feeling like my insides were pumped full of concrete and squeezed. But we had done it. Now the wait to see if any of our guys would make it began.

 

 

 

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IVF part 1: the human pin cushion

We started IVF a little over two weeks ago. It was Mothers Day (the irony of this is was not lost on me). I sat nervously on the couch, dialled up 200 on the Puregon pen, screwed a needle into the end and just sat there. It’s not something that came naturally to me, stabbing yourself in your abdomen. Perhaps that is a good thing.

I think I administered the first injection a bit too fast, some residue was left on my skin. It left me feeling worried and anxious – what if I had just stuffed up our entire cycle, all on the first night?! I called my gynaecologist, he wasn’t bothered but wanted me to talk to the nurses the next day. It turns out that injecting yourself can take a bit of practice and patience.

In addition to injecting myself every evening with Puregon, to stimulate follicle (and hopefully egg) development, from day six of my cycle I also had to inject myself in the mornings with another drug called Orgalutran to prevent ovulation. Initially, the only real side effect was a heinous lump of uncomfortable breast tissue sprung up almost overnight. An ultrasound later and thankfully it was confirmed as drugs and hormones messing with me rather than anything too sinister. Probably could have done without that additional stress though.

My first scan and blood test was on the following Saturday. I went in with the expectation that we would see maybe five or so follicles. The gynaecologist used an ultrasound to start measuring the follicles she could see. “Sixteen” she’d call out to the nurse sitting at the computer. The nurse typed the measurement into the computer. “Fourteen”. “Ten”. “Ten”. “Fourteen” and so it went. I counted in my head with my heart in my mouth, “one, two, three, four, five, six…”

“OK”, said the gynaecologist, “now we’re going to move onto the other ovary”. The OTHER ovary? It seems obvious that this would be the case in hindsight, but at the time I thought that only one ovary would be producing follicles. I stopped counting after that, content that we must be on the right track.

My results showed that we had 22 follicles and I was scheduled to have another blood test and scan on the Monday morning. Things were definitely progressing, and fast. On the Monday, we went through the same follicle counting process as before. 26 follicles!! The nurses seemed nervous about the number of follicles and advised me that I would have to take an injection of Buserelin at 12.30am the following morning to “trigger” the ovulation process.

My egg collection was scheduled for 12.30pm on Wednesday, no food that morning, no water after 10.30am, bring your used needles, instruction after instruction after instruction. It was only day 10 of my cycle and it felt like I suddenly lost control over what was happening.

On the eve of IVF

It has been a long two months as I sit here on the eve of my first IVF cycle.

This month’s cycle is at an end. Clomid gave me migraine headaches, bloating, and some random sobbing, but unfortunately only one follicle. The previous month there were two follicles, and elation with a positive pregnancy test. That quickly turned to sheer disbelief and heartache as a week later I felt my underpants were wet and after quickly taking myself to the bathroom realised that it was blood. Lots of blood. Perhaps it was a chemical pregnancy, who knows. I felt myself drift into the familiar territory of grief and numbness, but the shortness of the pregnancy seems to have been mirrored in the shortness of my grief for loss #5.

The loss of another pregnancy hardened my resolve. I wasn’t prepared to let matters take their own course and wander on, and on, and on. I’m now 34 and we’ve been trying to have our second baby for two and a half years now. I’m sick of my relationship with my husband taking a back seat. The last two months we have had to wait for the hollow text message saying “it’s a good time to have intercourse for the next four days”. It’s been long enough.

Tonight I am completing consent forms. The questions ask, “do you want to dispose of any embryo with inconclusive pre-genetic screening results” and the like. It turns your mind to the possibility that we may have some difficult decisions ahead of us, or horrible things may happen to us again. It talks about CVS. I instantly think of my one and only CVS that led to a diagnosis of T21. I am doing my best to be positive. It is the best chance we have of conceiving a healthy baby.

On the bench sits a turquoise green cooler bag. Inside there are information sheets, a specimen collection jar for my husband, and two injection pens. I will need to inject myself in the stomach with two drugs, one to stimulate follicle development, the other to prevent ovulation. That’s what is making me the most nervous at this point. Stabbing my own stomach with a fine needle. Each injection costs around $300. What if I botch it up? Will it hurt a lot?

My poor husband has to deposit a specimen for semen analysis tomorrow. He said his voice quivered on the phone as he tried to say the words. I had to laugh at the sheer awkwardness of the situation, but I also feel genuinely sorry for him that he is now part of the medical hoop-jumping circus that I feel so familiar with.

Despite our history, my gynaecologist calls us his, ‘positive prognosis”, and he is confident we will get there. Fingers crossed that he’s right.